The Plan

I have a plan. I have a plan as to secure both my happiness and my power. Now you, the reader, may find it crazy, but that’s a risk I’m willing to take. I was on a train from New York back home to Delaware, when I saw this overly attractive, probably gay, guy. He walked on the train, expensive sunglasses resting on well-sculpted cheekbones, trendy hat atop his fashionably gelled blond hair. It was at this point that the man’s beauty stirred within me feelings of resentment, jealously, and lust. As I sat in my chair, lamenting over the genetic inequalities I was plagued with, (being a pale ginger), my mind drifted upon a quote made by the great London Preppy: "I look at his perfect face, his shaved blonde hair, his smooth white skin and realize that few things hurt me more than physical beauty." With this quote in mind, I happened to formula…The Plan. The Plan which, when completed with give me absolute power and make me happy, freed from the pain and power physical beauty can inflict. Here it is:

1.) Have gay friends as well as girl friends keep an eye out for unattractive gay men.

2.) Find an island. Capture it.

3.) Capture the aforementioned gay men, referred to from here on out as ‘uggos’.

4.) Populate the island with uggos.

The jist of this plan is that once the island is populated with uggos, I will be able to gain control, as I will be physically superior to the uggos. Who cares about who is best situated for the job? I, (through my own planning), will be the best looking person on the island, so all power will of course, rest with me. After I have begun ruling with an iron fist (not a copper, not cobalt, but an iron fist); I will enact the last critical part of my plan. In the period of finding the uggos, I will select one who is moderately attractive to be my lover and rule beside me. This part is so crucial because the person has to be attractive enough to rule beside me, but not so attractive so as to pose a threat to my power.

As for the part about finding the island…I was thinking about using the set of Lost in Hawaii. No construction would be needed, and I think I could clear everyone out by wearing a ghost costume and waving my arms around. It always worked on Scooby-Doo…
Ohh, and I know this is the first post, but don’t expect for this blog to be so planned out and classy. This post was elaborate because of the plan. In the future, (that is if anyone actually reads this blog) I plan on using words like ass and douche bag often because they are perfectly vulgar, and my thoughts will be much less constructed (is that a good or a bad thing?), and scornful of the beauty of others.

Ohh and I swear I’m not a creeper…well, not completely; I am a Gemini after all.